Lifestyle · Parenting

Guilt and shame

Hey everyone! I’ve been thinking a lot lately and one thing all us moms know is mom guilt. Whether it’s guilt for working, staying home, not feeling good enough and so on. 

Last week I noticed Mico was a lot more grumpy. He would scream and cry all day and sometimes all night. I also noticed that it was happening when I was trying to feed him. I thought that maybe he had a belly ache from something I ate. So I changed my diet a bit to see if it got better. Well it hadn’t changed. He was still crying and screaming. So then I thought maybe I wasn’t producing enough milk for him. 

I have been trying to pump when I get the chance, but I have found it’s a lot more difficult pumping with a crying newborn and a energetic toddler. Last night I had to feed Mico some of the milk that I had pumped. I felt guilty because I wasn’t ready to feed him from a bottle just yet, especially since he is just getting his latch right. 

Even though I felt and still do feel guilty, let’s face it I’m a mom I always will, Mico slept good last night. He only woke up once which is a huge improvement. I actually got a good amount of sleep. So I am grateful that I gave him a bottle of pumped milk. 

Aside from us moms putting pressure on ourselves and feeling mom guilt, there are others who mommy shame us, which doesn’t help. It could be family, friends, or strangers who have tried to make moms feel worse than they already do. Now, this isn’t always the case but for some they get it all the time. 

I feel like I have been mommy shamed by certain people because my toddler basically refuses to be potty trained. I have been trying for about 6 months to get her potty trained and she just doesn’t care. Some people make me feel worse about it and it’s hard. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all need to be easier on ourselves or other people. As moms we are all doing our best, trying to raise our babies to be their best selves. I’m definitely guilty of feeling the mom guilt and I am going to try and remember that mommin ain’t easy. We are all doing the best we can! For all the ones who put pressure and shame on other mommies try and be understanding. 

This isn’t just for moms either, this goes for dad’s and anyone else that feels this way. 

Sorry for the rant I just thought I’d get that off my mind. So if you made it through my long novel of venting, you deserve a high five and a cookie!

Thanks for stopping by! 

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2 thoughts on “Guilt and shame

  1. I think you just said what so many other mothers are to scared to share! I remember how bad I was treated when I decided to not breastfeed my daughter but rather express and feed her with a bottle – considering she was born 6 weeks early with no warning. I just decided whether she gets breastmilk from a bottle or breast, what does it matter.
    The same with the fact that she still slept in our room (not our bed) until almost 2. That’s what worked for us and now we have no problems with her sleeping in her own bed or room.
    Regarding the potty training – we were on the other end, Little M decided at 16 month she is done with diapers and only wanted big girl pants.
    My point – there is no right or wrong – do what works for you – you are doing a great job and nobody should tell you any different.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting! I like to keep it real and I agree there is no right or wrong way. Everyone parents different and all kids are different. As long as they are taken care of and well loved I think that’s all that counts. Oh man I am jealous that your little wanted big girl pants and to sleep in her own bed. I have my fingers crossed that mine will decide to do those soon haha

      Like

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